It takes a village… to build a business
(About a 6.5-minute read)“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
[Maya Angelou]
Building a small business comes with much excitement and many opportunities; but also with many challenges and bumps in the road. And there seem to be a never-ending flood of tasks that need to be taken care of, considerations that need to be carefully weighed, and decisions that need to be made. A very good friend of mine has coined the phrase “it needs to be elegant”. Meaning, if there is a lot of pushing, shoving, and “making it fit ” involved, it’s probably not the best path to pursue. It is easy to get carried away by the “doing”; the “making things move”; and the “pushing things forward”. With that comes the risk of losing sight of the most important thing: building and nurturing relationships. Read on as I share my experience.
Welcome back to Spiegelbild!
In today’s blog I’d like to share some insights and changes in perspective I have recently gained as the founder of a small business. I’m sure you all have heard phrases like: “Successful businesses are built on good relationships.” But what does that actually mean? Many books and articles have been published about the importance of the people behind every business, and that building and maintaining relationships is probably the most important skill an entrepreneur can acquire. I wholeheartedly agree with that.
Nonetheless, I have found myself getting carried away by the “hard factors” — the tasks, agendas, goals and achievements — and not paying attention to the “soft things”, such as taking time to invest in true conversations with the people in my business life, nurturing the emotional connection with business partners, and listening to, and learning from, others’ experiences.
In today’s world, business success is often measured by things that are easy to measure, like the number of clients or customers a business has, the return on investment, the number of orders in the books, or the amount of cash that’s flowing into the bank account. Focussing on measurable outcomes, however, bears the risk of missing out on the things that are harder to measure, yet are equally — if not more — important if a business is to thrive. Here are a few suggestions to un-cloud your business focus.
Stay curious.
Maybe you think you really need to get that next contract signed. Maybe you think you have so much on your plate that you really can’t afford to spend time just to embrace a conversation. But trust me, time spent on relationship building is well worth the investment. Relationships must be prioritized over results.
If you make the time to truly listen to what a potential client has on their mind; what gets them excited about working with you; the difference they are hoping to make as a result of your business engagement; or the shift they seek for their professional or private lives; you will gain a richness of information that will help you build trust with your potential client and will make them feel like they are the hero of an exciting journey.
Everything about my business is about relationships. No aspect of my business can function without the trusted, long-lasting relationships I have with my business partners, which include my clients, the horses in my programs, and all the people that are essential for me to actually run my business: barn owners, fellow horse owners, business partners, service providers, etc. To me, staying curious means being open-minded. If a business meeting was scheduled to deal with a certain task, but I get the feeling that something else is going on that needs attention, I allow room for those things to bubble to the surface. If I meet a new horse that might become a future partner in my coaching programs, I meet it without expectations and allow it to express itself. This in turn gives me the opportunity to learn about it and which client might benefits from its teaching. If I meet a potential new client, I don’t look at them as that — a potential new client. I first and foremost listen. I listen to what they have to say, what they are willing to share, what they are open to, and especially to what they share “between the lines.” Taking the time to listen is essential as it makes a person feel like you are truly in their corner and there to support them and guide them.
Staying curious is like training. You have to constantly flex your “curiosity muscles” to keep them nimble, flexible and strong. It will pay off as your relationships will become long-lasting, positive and mutually respectful.
Be human first.
As a small business owner it is important to have the ability to acquire, maintain, nurture and grow relationships. As the title suggests, it indeed takes a village. Investing in, and improving your soft skills, like empathy, compassion, accountability and honesty is crucial in this regard. As is allowing vulnerability. While I have changed careers in the past, this is my first time building a small business, chartering unknown territory and trying to establish myself in a field that is pretty unique. Of course, I will make mistakes. I will need help from time to time, I rely on people to support me, and I certainly don’t have all the answers.
Admitting when you don’t know something, asking for help when you need it, and reaching out to find expertise you don’t have yourself are not signs of weakness. This is part of establishing and growing your business. It has been found that one of the most efficient and effective practices for building business relationships is honest communication. Share with clients who you are, where you came from, and where you are going. People relate to stories. So, share yours. I have found that regularly writing and publishing a blog is an enjoyable way of reflecting on my experience, sharing the insights I’ve gained, the lessons I’ve learned and the struggles that have come my way.
What is meant to happen will happen.
I love the phrase “go slow to go fast”. Every once in a while, we realize that we have opened so many doors, started so many “files”, and are working on so many fronts in our work and life that things just aren’t running as smoothly and quickly as we might want them to. When this happens, and it happens to all of us, you have a few options.
First, you can ignore it and muddle through, hoping that your system won’t crash or collapse. Second, you can adopt a state of mind that all is futile and walk away. Or you can pause, carve out some time, clear out the things that are no longer serving you well and reset your path. You go slow in order to go fast again. If you’re curios to read more about the power of pause, check out this blog.
One way of doing this is to re-connect with your core values. For Spiegelbild these are creativity, excellence, honesty and integrity. Whenever I find myself in a world of “too many files open”, I pause and remind myself of the environment and relational qualities these values create. I consider why they are so important to me. My core values act as navigators and help me answer the question if whatever I’m doing in any given moment, and how I’m doing it, moves me towards my long-term goals. Fulfilling roles and responsibilities is a necessary part of being a business owner. Upholding the core values establishes the attitude and behavioural systems for how I fulfill those roles and responsibilities. I firmly believe that acting in alignment with your core values will lead to the results and progress you desire.
It won’t come as a surprise that significantly more investment is required to acquire new business than to keep existing clients. Nurturing and growing your relationships is essential in this context. Stay curious and listen to understand, instead of just waiting to respond.
Be relational, share your stories, and be brave enough to be vulnerable. As Brené Brown puts it: “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest things that we will do.” [1]
And if you find that relentless voice in your head telling you to be decisive, to move, to execute and to push through; do the opposite. Pause, stop the chatter, take time to reflect and re-align with your core values. They will provide guidance on how to tackle the next important things in your business and private lives.
If all of the above makes sense, but also feels overwhelming, consider reaching out and asking for the help. Equine-assisted coaching can be a great way to guide you towards identifying or re-connecting to your core values. It is a great way of increasing self-awareness and reflecting upon what is going on in yourself and your relationship with others. And it can help by providing a fresh “set of eyes” on present and future challenges and potential opportunities. Working with the horse is lived learning — not lectured. It can lead to meaningful, lasting changes in one’s personal and professional life.
If you’re curious to learn more about our equine-assisted coaching programs, please go to our website and book a free 30-minute discovery call. We are here for you — one human-horse partnership at a time.
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[1] Brené Brown, The Gifts Of Imperfection, 2010, page ix