Putting the Certain in Uncertainty
(A 5-minute read)“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is.”
[John Allen Paulos]
Uncertainty is omnipresent. Recently, I have been dealing with quite a bit of uncertainty in my professional life. And with that came a multitude of emotions such as anger, annoyance, blaming myself (“I should have seen this coming”), feeling depressed, defeated and exhausted. If it is true that uncertainty is the only certainty there is, how can we minimize the negative impact it has on our day-to-day lives, and what are useful strategies to navigate through uncertain situations?
Welcome back to Spiegelbild!
In this blog I focus on coping strategies that can help to put certain back into uncertainty. If you read my previous blog about the role of emotions in decision making you might remember that a rather new field of research — evolutionary psychology — explains that although human beings today inhabit a thoroughly modern world, they do so while still being governed by emotions and traits that ensured their survival as Stone Age hunter-gatherers. In essence, evolution not only shaped the human body, but also the human mind. As a result, we humans are “hardwired” in ways that determine most of our behaviours to this day.
It turns out that our discomfort with uncertainty also has its roots in our “hardwiring”. We humans crave certainty. Our brains perceive ambiguity as a threat and thus try to protect us by focussing on creating certainty. However, we can never really be sure what the future will bring. It might, therefore, be more effective to not attempt to create certainty, and instead learn to live with ambiguity. I want to share a few strategies from my personal experience that can help with this.
What we resist persists.
It might seem counterintuitive, but resisting the reality of a situation amplifies the challenging emotions we are feeling, and hinders our ability to deal with the situation in a constructive way. Practicing acceptance, on the other hand, allows us to meet life where it’s at and move forward from there. Acceptance unlocks us, it removes the paralysis and ineffectiveness. Acceptance enables us to see the reality of the situation in the present moment, acknowledge what is happening, how we are feeling about it, and invest our energy in developing strategies and actions to improve the situation. In my personal experience, accepting what was going on helped to clear my mind, take a deep breath and then start thinking about what I can do to reduce my exposure to similar situations in the future. Accepting meant I felt empowered to take back the reins.
Don’t meet trouble halfway.
In uncertain times it is particularly important to not believe our thoughts that argue for the worst-case scenario. If we do, we tend to react emotionally as though the worst-case scenario is already happening, grieve for things that we have not yet lost, and react to events that are not actually happening. Additionally, by believing our negative thoughts they can become self-fulfilling prophecy. When we expect the worst, we often feel too afraid or closed-minded to seize opportunities, gain new perspectives, or find creative solutions to challenges.
When I find myself going down the rabbit hole of negative thinking I go for a walk, or do some other form of physical activity. This seems to help calm the spin in my brain, and helps me “see” the reality of a situation with a different set of eyes. I also find it helpful to talk to trusted people that are outside the uncertain situation. My husband is a great sounding board and I talk things through with him — a lot. He tends to be not as emotionally invested, and often provides just a different take on a situation. In my recent experience, this was crucial to change my own perspective, find the silver lining, and imagine a positive future scenario. Not believing our negative thoughts counters our natural tendency to overestimate risks and negative impacts.
Presence is the opposite of uncertainty.
Instead of imagining a scary, worst-case future, you can focus on the here and now. One way of doing that is bringing attention to your breath. This may sound a little too easy. But intentional, diaphragmatic breathing is a powerful way to direct attention to yourself. It will enable you to check how you are doing in a given moment, and what emotions you are feeling. Even if our reality feels out of control, we can still control what we pay attention to.
We are incredibly resourceful when it comes to finding our own answers and solutions. Paying attention to what is showing up within yourself helps you to be present in the moment. It prevents the external reality from determining your inner truth, and allows you to keep an open mind and react with intention.
For me, my reality changed when I accepted the new circumstances, dropped my fixation on the challenges and problems, and started to imagine what I could accomplish in the new situation. I asked myself: “What is the best possible outcome I can achieve given the new circumstances?” and “What do I stand to gain?” That helped me take responsibility for the next steps, and focus on what I wanted, rather than what I didn’t want. Stopping complaining gave me the power to design, to take back control and feel empowered to create the future I desired. I still went through the emotional rollercoaster that comes with uncertainty. But by acknowledging what was going on in myself, I was able to accept those emotions and move on.
When we believe our negative thoughts that tell us we are powerless, we get handcuffed to feeling helpless and trapped. When we believe instead in our own resourcefulness, we discover our ability to solve problems and shape a positive future for ourselves.
Equine-assisted coaching is a great way to increase self-awareness, and reflect upon what is going on in yourself and your relationship with others. Being present in the moment, checking in with your emotions, being adaptive to changing circumstances, and not dwelling on the negative are all aspects of personal and leadership development that are lived through the interaction with the horse — not lectured. A horse reacts to the way people show up, interact and communicate, which makes each equine-assisted coaching program as unique as the people who are participating in it. As such, investing in equine-assisted coaching can equip you with meaningful coping strategies to navigate the uncertainties of our times, and putting the certain back into your life.
If you’re curious to learn more about our equine-assisted coaching programs please go to our website and book a free 30-minute discovery call. We are here for you — one human-horse partnership at a time.
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