Through a Horse’s Eyes

(about a 7-minute read)

“One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human.”

[Loren Eiseley]

What exactly are the benefits of involving horses in leadership and personal development coaching? Benefits for human well-being from being around and working with animals — including reduced stress and anxiety — have been widely documented.  But why does including horses in coaching programs enhance a client’s coaching experience? And, are horses not just like big dogs?

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I have often wondered why horses — as prey animals — like to interact with us humans, given that we have attributes of a predator from the horse’s perspective. What is it about this interspecies relationship between a predator and a prey animal that has us be fascinated by horses, and lets horses enjoy the company of humans? Could it be that horses are better at “reading us” than other species? Can we relate to horses’ social life more than to that of other species?

I don’t know that there are clear answers to any of these questions. What I do know is that we are not 100% predatory in our behaviour. Humans, too, have been and are preyed upon, especially when co-existing with other predators in a given environment. We choose flight over fight when threatened.

So, maybe we can relate to the heightened awareness of a horse when facing unknown situations, animals or people? We know how it feels to get spooked by something that moves unexpectedly and quickly. We have a desire to control our environment, and keep an eye on potential threats, especially on what is happening behind us. Studies have shown that we can actually concentrate better and be more productive when we sit with our back against the wall. We like to have a good view of our surroundings and know that no one is lurking in the shadows.

Dogs don’t share the same concerns. They can lie down and have a good nap literally everywhere. When confronted with new environments or situations most dogs don’t get wary, they start to investigate. Typically, dogs don’t choose flight as their first strategy in a conflict. They either freeze or fight back. While dogs are able to read our body language and react to our facial expressions — speaking from my own experience as a happy dog owner — they don’t enter into the same “dialogue” with us as horses do.

So, no, horses are not like big dogs. Let me share a few concrete insights from my coaching practice.

Improved Self-Awareness

Coaching with horses takes advantage of their ability to distinctly surface subconscious behaviour, amplify the energy an individual brings to a situation, and mirror back emotions and intentions.

In my sessions, I invite my clients to enter into a real dialogue with their equine partner. I do this by not putting a halter and a lead rope on the horse, which is how you would typically lead a horse.

Instead, my horses only wear a braided rope around their neck, in case we need to hold on to them during a coaching conversation. Without a halter and lead rope it’s hard to “force” the horse to do something, for instance by being pulled, pushed or confined. This means, the horse is free to “express” itself. In lieu of the halter and rope, I ask my clients to lead the horse through their energy, body language, body positioning, and clear intentions.

By working with a horse in this way, my clients vividly experience the effects of changes in their energy and body language on another being.  A good example is when I ask a person to take the horse for a walk. Sounds like an easy exercise, right? But it is more complex than you think.

To walk with a horse, one has to decide on the direction, get their own body ready to move forward, communicate with the horse to ensure it pays attention, motivate the horse to walk, and then walk together. A common pattern I observe is that the human starts walking but the horse doesn’t immediately follow. Once they realize the horse isn’t following, the client typically stops, too.

Now, there are a number of things that might have happened between the intention of walking with the horse, and its execution. Most often, there actually wasn’t a clear intention.

There is a difference between being committed to going for a walk, and a rather lacklustre attempt to do so. Think back to a situation when you were asked by a leader to take on a project. You had the feeling, however, that your leader wasn’t truly behind the project, or questioned its merits. Do you remember how you felt? And how different was it when you recall a situation when everyone involved was 100% committed and excited?

Horses pick up on the difference in energy between a person being truly committed to a task or feeling unsure. Horses like to preserve energy. If they are being asked to move, but only half-heartedly, their preference is to stay where they are. So, going back to our example, if the intention to walk isn’t clearly communicated, a horse will not follow the person. And thus the coaching conversation begins...

I believe that people can also sense those differences in commitment and intention. We may just not be as in-tune with our intuition as a horse is. Furthermore, our societal conventions may prevent us from acting candidly. But how we act, and how we follow through on our intentions does have an impact on the people around us.

Working with a horse provides a mirror of your actions and intentions. The horse’s uninhibited intuition will visibly amplify how you show up, and how you think you show up. You get to experience what it feels like to be truly committed in the moment, as opposed to being unaware that you may be distracted or acting with half-hearted conviction. Improving your self-awareness through this experiential approach will allow you to directly apply what you learn in your professional and personal life.

Emotions

Horses pick up on human emotions. From my experience, they may not exactly mirror a person’s fear, uncertainty, or excitement in the sense that they start to feel the same way. But horses react to our emotions and provide honest, in-the-moment feedback in their own way.

This is very valuable for coaching because horses react not only to the emotions that are openly shared, but in particular when a person presents incongruently. For instance, if a person is fearful or uncertain of a situation, but pretends they are not and act in a way that suppresses their true emotion, a horse gets confused.

To add to this: we tend to act bigger or more forceful when we suppress our emotions. We play a role and put up a facade. However, since we don’t have a comprehensible reason for our strong actions, our behaviour is even more confusing – especially to the horse.

Working with a horse allows my clients to explore behavioural patterns and discrepancies they may not be aware of. There is a difference between having a feeling and acting upon it or repressing it. Becoming aware of these differences can have a profound impact on a person’s emotional intelligence, and subsequently on their relationships and interactions with the people around them.

Social IQ

Our brains are wired to connect. The way we interact with others, and how they interact with us, profoundly influences our bodies—from regulating our heart rate to our immune systems. Therefore, it is essential in all our relationships to understand both how we want to be perceived and how we are actually perceived.

As an example, a person might think of themselves as candid and direct. If asked they would describe their energy when approaching another person as open and friendly. Approaching a horse in their typical manner creates a unique opportunity for a person to experience whether their picture of themselves is true.

If a person’s approach is welcomed by a horse with calmness and curiosity, and if a horse likes to “hang out” with a human, then indeed the person is perceived as friendly and non-threatening. If a horse instead reacts by running away, or by showing protective behaviour, one should pause and ask what's going on. Is the energy I'm emitting truly open and friendly, or is it unintentionally overly direct and confrontational?

This is a wonderful opportunity to dive deeper during a person’s coaching journey. I like to ask my clients if they can relate their experience to their day-to-day lives, whether in their professional or personal environment. Is there evidence for how they might be perceived? Do they get puzzled by the reactions they receive from others? How does their perception differ depending on the personality type they are interacting with? What good can come from this increased awareness? And how can an improved understanding of how they are perceived by others affect their relationships?

Lived, not lectured learning

So, let’s ask the question again of what exactly are the benefits of involving horses in leadership and personal development coaching? As I’ve hopefully illustrated, equine-assisted coaching offers a unique opportunity for lived, not lectured learning. Seeing yourself through a horse’s eyes will increase your self-awareness, your emotional  intelligence and your social competence.

Working with a horse provides a hands-on learning experience that will deepen your understanding and improves retention.

By observing and experiencing different reactions to how you present yourself, you gain insights into how others may perceive you, allowing for deeper and more meaningful reflection.

Engaging with a sentient being on multiple levels—intellectually, emotionally, physically, and socially—without judgment will help you analyze your actions and behaviours, and understand their interactions more profoundly.

Are you ready to transform how you see the people around you, and how you are perceived by others? Are you seeking to get outside your comfort zone and confront your own assumptions? Then I invite you to book a free 30-minute discovery call by using this link. I’d be excited to connect and explore how my programs can meet your needs.

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